


Without You

by Sydders09



Series: Doctor Sleep (Dan Torrance) [6]
Category: Doctor Sleep (2019), Doctor Sleep - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mourning, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23933740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sydders09/pseuds/Sydders09
Summary: Dealing with loss is never easy.
Relationships: Dan "Danny" Torrance/Reader, Dan "Danny" Torrance/You
Series: Doctor Sleep (Dan Torrance) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561981
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Without You

You helped Billy’s family pack his things. They didn’t know you and you didn’t really know them, but you felt obligated to help. Billy meant a lot to you and you couldn’t sit back doing nothing while his siblings worked. Billy wouldn’t have wanted that.

It didn’t take very long. Most of the furniture they donated to the apartment complex. There was no need to take it home. His clothes, the small nick knacks he kept went away with them. You were offered to take something to remember him by, something that wasn’t as important to them. You couldn’t bring yourself to do that. Billy would always be remembered by you.

Danny’s apartment was a different issue. From what he told you, his family was gone. No one would come and collect his belongings. Everything would be donated or thrown out. Your heart clenched.

As soon as your landlady returned from her vacation, you met with her. There was only one thing you could think to do.

“Let me switch apartments,” you told her. “Dan Torrance’s place? He’s… he’s not coming back to it. I’ve always liked that apartment and I want to move into it.”

“You’re still under lease,” the woman said. “I can’t just give you the apartment.”

“I’ll pay the remaining months. Just… I need to…”

“Fine. I expect payment for both apartments each month until your lease is paid for.”

“Thank you so much!” You almost ran up to your floor until you realized you were missing something. “Do you have an extra key to the other apartment? Dan… He didn’t leave his key for me.” It probably burned up with the hotel and… no… you couldn’t think about it.

Your landlady sighed and produced the key from a drawer. “Don’t lose this one. I need to make another copy.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

It took a couple of days for you to move your things into Dan’s old apartment after going through his possessions. He didn’t have much – that thought alone made you ugly cry for an hour while digging through his clothes – so it was easy to make room for your things. You had a single bag of clothes to give away, mostly jeans, scrubs, and his outdoor work clothes. You kept a few of his sweaters especially an olive green one you adored on him.

On the night of the second day, you sat on the hardwood floor surrounded by the clothes you wanted to keep. The cracked chalkboard wall with ‘murder’ across it glared down at you – a constant reminder of how it all started… how you lost two of the most important people in your life. You were alone.

“Billy…” you sniffled, hugging a sweatshirt to your chest. “Danny… If you can hear me… I miss you both so much.” Hot tears rolled down your face. “I-I don’t know how to live anymore. I’m… I’m a zombie. I still love you guys… And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Danny…” You buried your face in the article of clothing. “Maybe you would still be here…”

You woke up the next morning on the floor covered with various pieces of clothing and bloodshot eyes. It wasn’t the last time you found yourself like that. Almost like clockwork, you would stare at the chalkboard wall and try talking to Billy and Danny as if they were still there. You were losing yourself in a dream you could never have.

Abra attempted to reach out to you in the beginning until you begged her to give you some space. She did for a little while. But her fears got the best of her and she showed up outside your apartment, eyes sad seeing your pale face and red-rimmed eyes.

“Come have dinner with me and my mom,” she said while helping you clean up the mess of clothes you still hadn’t put away. “We’re all hurting, and you shouldn’t have to go through this alone. I… I miss him, too.”

“Do you know what it’s like, Abra? To go to sleep wishing it was a horrible dream? To wake up hoping you’ll see his face again? I lost Danny and Billy… I used to see them, hear them every day. Now there’s nothing.

“I have dreams of them alive. I see Billy with a beautiful woman he met while working on the tiny town. They’re so happy together. She already has a ring on her finger and a baby on the way. It was love at first sight for them. I see you and your parents pulling up in a nice SUV, bright grins on your faces as you hand over the dessert you made to share. I see… I see Danny looking well… happy. I like to see us together in a place we bought together…”

Abra frowned. “I lost my dad… You don’t think I fall asleep wishing he would be there to wake me up and take me to school? I know exactly how you feel.”

“I… I miss Danny… I feel like there’s a hole permanently in my chest where my heart should be… We weren’t anything more than friends and I feel like I’ve lost the love of my life.”

You missed the way Abra glanced past you. “You’ll find someone again.”

“Not like Dan Torrance… How can I love anyone the way I loved him for the eight years I knew him? I can’t walk away from that. I can’t… I can’t let him go. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get the proper goodbye… No, I never wanted it to come to that…”

“I think Uncle Dan is still around, you know,” Abra said, meeting your watery gaze. “You just can’t see him.”

“Can you? I mean, can you see him?”

The young girl hesitated, eyes shifting to something unseen. “Not really.”

In your sorrow, you didn’t sense the lie. You were oblivious to Abra and the spirit of someone lost to you deciding to keep their secret a little longer. There would be a time and place for you to know that Dan Torrance wasn’t completely gone from your life.


End file.
